So close I can smell it...

We are past 37 weeks, officially full-term according to the Dr. - whom I love by the way. He literally cracks me up. We were at the Drs office the other week, week 25 and were going over all the fun details of labor. Of course, if you know my husband at all - you know that he's quite fond of blood and surgery (not). So he is asking the dr all these questions, "where will I be standing?", "What will I be able to see..", "How long will she recover?", etc. The Dr looks at me, I'm not at all surprised by these questions - and says "Dont worry, in a weeks time she will be making your peanut-butter sandwiches and waiting on you hand and foot." We all chuckled - yet Patrick and I know it to be true. After going over all the details, they bonded over the thought of never having to do labor themselves. Dr Hill states, "If I was a woman, Id never go through all this to have a kid! No way." I thought I was invisible, but then I remembered my weigh-in at the beginning of the appt., at that weight no-one could be invisible.

I am glad the Dr. assured Patrick that he will be OK during labor, so he wont get ill. Which wouldnt be the first time a situation like this has happened. A couple years ago, I went in to get some cysts removed from my head -  I made Patrick go with me for moral support, since they had to shave a little hair and cut my head open, essentially. Well, as we sit in the operating room - I'm sitting in a reclined-like chair, they are slicing the cysts off and theres an assistant soaking the blood with gauze.  My husband, who was such a trooper puts a finger up "excuse me, can you guys hold on a minute..." and so the Dr stops for a min, and patrick is putting his head in between his legs and asks permission to eat his cheese-nips from his lunch pale so he doesn't pass out. I forget if the Dr laughed or just continued on with my scalp.. but needless to say Im packing some cheese nips for Patrick in my hospital bag, just in case.  Between my husband and baby, I'm going to have my hands full - I just know it. Bring it on.. I couldn't be more lucky.

I am ready as ever to see my little man and get out of the fat suit I have been wearing for far too long. But I am trying to enjoy these last couple weeks (hopefully) as much as I can since I will never be able to feel my first born moving inside like taebo instructor. So I shall embrace these last weeks with joy and ... oh whose kidding who here - get outta my belly! I want to kiss his sweet little face.

He is quite the active one, I tell you. Now he's pretty much on a schedule, I know when hes going to be rowdy and when hes taking a nap. And its never on my schedule - talk about perfect timing - welcome to parenthood, right? So he typically starts my day waking me up around 4a, stays pretty active til after 6-630a, then he decides hes had enough Partying, I think hes on his uncle Dante's schedule - I'm not sure. Then passes out again, til about when I wake up at 815.  I wake up and pat his little butt to wake up so I can count his kicks and make sure hes all well in there. He usually kicks me back pretty hard, which lets be serious he takes after me. I'm a real treat to wake up in the morning. My family and friends in college would almost go the extent of drawing straws not to wake me up, haha.

So i always get a good kick out of it - no pun intended - when i go to wake him up with a little pat on the butt (where i think his butt is, anyway) - a little knock knock on the belly. And pow-bam-pop to my side his foot goes, "DONT MOM, Im sleeping!" haha. Then hes usually awake during my morning meetings when im trying to sit still and he hears all these random voices, it must be interesting to him since he kicks and punches me in all sorts of directions - "get me outta here, i wanna be part of the party!" (Believe me kid, not much partying at these meetings). Then he usually takes a long snooze, probably cause he enjoys the motion of me walking around and listening to music in my office. Then a peek of activity when im making dinner and he hears his dad for the first time in the day - "hey dad! I'm here, its me! Hello!" And then he usually sleeps til about 11p when I am about to go to sleep. If hes already awake when we go to sleep, we sing him a song or read him a book in hopes to lull him to sleep. Typically doesn't work. Patrick will have his hand placed on my stomach, and most always take it off after a few minutes "wow, hes really active.. " and im like YEA I KNOW, yet I still feel the kicks and jolts as my husband slips into deep slumber, dreaming - probably about a three-some with Natalie Portman and Veronica Varekova. So I lay there trying to get comfortable and not squish my little kickboxer and fall asleep once he decides his pool party is over. Sleep is something of a distant relative at this point, but I guess it doesnt get better - so I'll just lay awake wondering what our little man will look like..

Have you ever bought a car, and then all you ever see is that car driving around? Same goes for pregnant women. Now that Im pregnant, I see so many pregnant women around I feel like theyre following me. You make eye-contact, smile and nod "i know what youre going through." And walk on with the 30lb belly. Patrick and I always try and guess how far along they are. She looks angry, she must be about 35 weeks. Or shes still happy, shes in her 2nd trimester. Haha.


Like this woman who we saw walking around Target the other night, looking for maternity clothes, smiling like shes skipping through a meadow of sunflowers - I liked her but thought, "oh honey, just wait...". They were due in June, shes got some time to enjoy the beautiful glow yet. While we were there, I thought heck ill look for some maternity clothes - cause just the last week my blouses and things no longer fit. So I have 3-4 dresses and a couple sweaters to rotate. I needed an outfit or two for the summer days. So we go to Target, I was told they had cute stuff. Well cute, yes but for women who are 5'10 and pregnant. These dresses not only looked like mumu's on me, but I was dragging around the bottom like a train on a wedding dress. So after a meltdown, they come very often these days, Patrick and I went to the juniors section. I got a dress out of there, probably doesnt 'fit' properly - but whose really going to judge me at this point? Especially when its 90 degrees out, who has time to judge in the midst of all the sweating.

Speaking of sweating, oh-my-lanta, last week we had a couple 90+ degree days. One of which we had a going away happy hour for my lovely gf, April on top of the rooftop of a bar. I could feel myself swelling by the second. Everyone was laughing and having a joyous time - and all i could think about was the girl from willy wanka blowing up after eating those berries - that was me. Although I wasnt purple. Finally we got home, and I made dinner and eventually elevated my feet - i could not see any sign of an ankle nor vein in either foot. I officially had cankles, with a roll over my non-exsistent ankle. It was omg-hilarious. It was so big, we were taking photos as if I were applying to be a side-show for Wringley brothers. Thank goodness the swelling has subsided, since its been in the 60-70s now. I doubt the circus pays well anyway, but if they had good maternity benefits - I could consider. Wouldn't that be funny..

Another funny thing I came across recently is black men finally dig me. Ive always had girlfriends that get hit on by black men, but never me - I was always secretly jealous. Thought it was the short legs, small bubble butt, or even the blonde hair - but now watch-out ladies. A couple funny stories... so Im walking home from work and I am in a tunnel like area, and two black men not only whistled but then said "hey beautiful, can we come home with you?" I of course, looked around - a full 360 - no way they were talking about me, this huge preggo manatee. But they were, "Yea, were talking to you!" I think i even giggled like a school girl. It made my day, more like my week. I came home like a kid who just won a goldfish at a fair - just had to tell Patrick. Even so, I still thought it was a one-time deal, maybe they just had a lot to drink that afternoon and really didnt notice the huge honk'n watermelon on my front end. But then, I knew it wasnt just bad eye-site or a prank someone was playing on me because Patrick and I are walking with friends in Adams Morgan. And evidently I was walking a little ahead, and BAM! I got checked out - our friend Eli said "Did those guys just turn and check out your pregnant wife!?" I could have thrown a party for myself, I felt so special. You really take what you can when youre pregnant. But damn, i felt good. lol! Victoria Secret, I'm ready for the cat-walk!

As time dwindles down, and baby Brady is creeping up on the time he enters the real world, I get more and more excited. I have soo many seersucker pants and bow ties for him to wear, he must get here soon. I know, I need to not go all cray-cray when shopping for him, cause he will likely poop or puke all over every cute thing he owns. But for that snap-shot, that quick photo, that moment -- hes going to be the most handsome little man on the planet. So watch out Mark Zuckerburg - your server is about to crash! Baby Brady coming to facebook pages near you..